Letter from Skypark

16 Apr

Hello Mum,

Just thought I would drop you a line to let you know what it is like working at our new offices at Skypark.

Well, I have to say, it takes a bit of getting used to. Our new offices are between the end of the airport runway and a really busy road. There is talk of planting some trees (some bright spark suggested ripping them up from the Knowle arboretum so it’s on the next council agenda) but for the time being it is really interesting being able to see the passengers jetting off to exotic places right outside my window. The double glazing doesn’t quite drown out the noise of the jet engines and I gather that the Chief Executive and Leader have had their new offices triple glazed.

It was a bit difficult getting here: I now have to take three buses and then walk along the main road but I have given notice at the flat in Sidmouth and I am hoping to get a house share in nearby Cranbrook or in Exeter to cut the journey time down. There are no shops in walking distance so the councillors voted themselves a Michelin star restaurant on site but we aren’t allowed to use it so we dash across the airport runway when we hope no-one is looking and get our sandwiches at the airport cafe so can’t complain.

I must say what I like most of all is that we get none of those horrible residents out here now. It made my job much easier. But then I was told that for four days a week I will be “on the road” visiting them at something called hubs which seems to be two chairs in a village hall in the back of nowhere. But look on the bright side – they have given me a council bike to get there and back so I will be very healthy. We have been given special training in how to deal with people who get difficult because we haven’t brought the right files or information, too, so you can see how well we are being looked after.

We don’t see the senior officers and members of the cabinet at all now because they are on the top floor and have their own private lift and facilities there -someone mentioned that they have gold taps! We do sometimes get told to go outside and lay our coats over the puddles if it is raining and they have to walk from their cheauffeur driven cars for the few steps to their special entrance so we do sometimes get a glimpse of them. It makes me feel so proud.

Well must go – time to dash across the runway between the 12.30 to Tenerife and the 13.00 to Paris. One of the councillors actually lives in Paris and comes over once a month to claim his expenses and he always gives me a cheery wave when he flies past in first class.

What a lovely job I have in such an interesting place. No idea what my job is it is but it keeps me busy!

Your loving son, Bert

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One Response to “Letter from Skypark”

  1. John Howard Norfolk April 17, 2014 at 12:24 pm #

    I just love this “letter to Mum” and hope the councillors read it and feel some shame

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